“What Did You Give Your Sweetie (or Yourself) for Valentine’s Day?”

The answer depends a lot on the stage of your relationship!

  1. No Sweetie?  No sweat!  Give yourself the gift of knowing that God loves you very much!  (It’s OK to tell God what you want, and ask for His best!)
  2. New relationship?  It can be a guessing game.  You want to be straightforward, not assume too much, not say too much, and not commit yourself prematurely.  Does that sound exhausting?  The key is to know who God says you are, know what you really want and to be yourself.  (Often easier said than done)!
  3. Budding relationship?  Congratulations!  You survived the awkward stage (the first of many??), and have talked together about what each of you would like. If you wanted different things, you each had the opportunity for unselfishness, and chose to give something special (which does not necessarily mean expensive)! (You are not just an ATM for your new sweetie!)
  4. Newly-wed stage?   Whatever you gave was perfect, since at this stage, “neither of you can do anything wrong!”  Give thanks to God and to your sweetie and determine to keep doing what God tells you to do!
  5. Disillusioned stage?  Whatever you gave was wrong, since at this stage, “neither of you can do anything right!”  Give forgiveness to each other and thank God that He has a solution.  “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”  (Romans 8:28)
  6. Realistic stage?  You have come to realize and accept that each of you married a sinner, and that God’s grace is a higher calling for your relationship.  You consciously chose to put your wants or needs lower than your sweetie’s, and to focus on pleasing them.
  7. Serving together stage.  Congratulations!  You have learned that you can impact the world together, and find joy in serving God and others together.  Give your sweetie encouragement and a helping hand as you together pursue God’s best.
  8. Single again? Give thanks to God for the years you had together, for God‘s provision, through the happy times and the sad times, and for God‘s promise “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.”  Thank Him also for the gift of grief, which can prepare you for the next adventure God has for you.  “A father of the fatherless and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation.” (Psalm 68:5) Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11: 28-30

I hope you had a Happy Valentine’s Day!

Written by Tom Holloway